Hot Damn!
Be into it.Archive for friends
Top 5.
I am not a phone person. There are a select few people I can talk on the phone with at length.
Top 5 People I Can Have A Lenghty Phone Conversation With*:
1. Dan Casey
2. Rob
3. Sabra
4. Kata
5. Becca
*Note: These rankings are representative of the present. They do not include past relationships/friendships etc.
Last.
Today is my Last day of work in this office.
Saturday is my Last day in NYC.
It is also the Last day of my Last summer as a college student. I do not have next summer off. I no longer have the luxury of summer vacations, or being a sloppy mess during the week.
I cannot express in words how absolutely crushed my heart feels right now. Good thing I am in this office alone, because I am very, very near to tears.
This summer brought on a lot of new things for me. I don’t think I am a different person, but the people I keep closest company with have drastically changed. It was the Last thing I ever expected to happen.
I lost my best friend this summer. And this is one of the hardest things I have ever had to admit to myself. I may have lost her far earlier and just not realized, but I am now acknowledging that when I speak of her, I will no longer preface her name with “my best friend”. It’s strange – there was no fight, no falling out, no pent up anger and frustration at a past action. She literally slowly disappeared from my life. And it seemed as though no matter what I did to try and maintain our friendship, she did not put in her required amount of effort. It can only be so long before I had to decide whether or not the hurt was worth the trouble, when all she did was let me down. And it is regretfully, heartbreakingly time for me to say that she is gone.
This may be the saddest feeling in the world.
On a lighter note:
I’m very thankful to the friends I still have, the ones I became closer too, and the new ones I made. I’m so incredibly happy with them and to make trips to see them wherever they are.
I’m actually even thankful to the creepers/randoms I met this summer (ie. Vlad, Guido, Goldman Sachs Guy, Aspen Bellman, Aspen Townie, Rob TenJune —- mind you this is how they are all listed in my phonebook). Without them, my summer wouldn’t have been half as awkward, frightening, out of control, or entertaining as it has been. Thank god.
At least I can say for my last summer, I went out with a bang. (Figuratively, of course.)
peace, love, and awkward mornings,
natalie marie.


